There are MOMENTS in life that certain images are burned into your memory. Transporting me back to many years ago as I sat and looked out the car window at a small, pig tailed, princess waving goodbye on her first day of daycare, eyes full of wonder, ready to take on the world. I realized one day she would be LEAVING my care, guidance and nurturing home to explore the world on her own.
This day came on March 10th2016 and it was then that I truly came to grips with the fact I had to let go and allow her to SOAR into who she is.
As I watched her tall slim, flannel clad frame, boarding pass in hand, fully GROWN fiercely and confidently wave and glance as she headed towards a journey. One which would shape her into the independent woman myself and her father always ASPIRED to raise her to be.
Despite the tears of regret for every MOMENT I wasn’t available and every time I chose to do something less important than listen to her or spend time with her. That day I brimmed with PRIDE at her beauty, naive nature and willing spirit. Although I knew she would RETURN a different person I was excited to meet her on the other side of this amazing opportunity she created all on her own. She worked hard to get what she wanted something I never really had to do at her age. I was shocked at her DETERMINATION to earn the finances to make it happen.
That trip I now know was a journey into HERSELF without the influence of our views.
It was the first time she would be away without us not needing to rely upon us to support her choices. Well except when we had to quarterback the retrieval of her wallet via telephone from this side of the pond. On that trip she tended to a budding long distance romance which she still has today her first true love. She definitely came back changed I still wonder now if we were ready for it. The whole DYNAMIC changed she needed us less and less day by day.
She fought to find out who she was for months on end losing old friends, gaining new ones and learning how to navigate standing up for herself as an only CHILD with helicopter parents. Somehow we all managed to adjust with a little support and many screaming matches, negotiations and late nights figuring out how to navigate this new territory of parenting a GROWN CHILD.
As an EXTROVERT most of my life I have began to notice recently my voice tends to drown out the more focused voices of the two INTROVERTS I am truly grateful to have in my life. They are a BEACON of hope when it comes to me maintaining sanity and being logical with my approach and expectations of my relationships.
I am cautious to write about her since I do not want my view to influence how she sees the world. We all have our own version of the events in our lives and this post is simply my view point.
By her last year of high school she was taking a similar path as I did so many years ago. Eventually left with only the people who truly loved her she found her way back HOME. To the place where she was supported, admired and encouraged to make good CHOICES as she always had before.
For many years I think she thought the CHOICES being made were to appease others or influenced by others but now I think she is able to hear her own inner voice calling to her to EMBRACE who she is. All the quirkiness, all the creativity and the true value of her thoughts and ideas she can finally see.
Being an only child and an INTROVERT I can only imagine how hard it is to find your way into yourself and to stand tall as an individual since everything you do you do for the most part alone without others to challenge your ideas. What I’ve learned from her is to be kind, generous to others, put yourself first sometimes but always act with integrity and honour. In writing this I feel like I’m outing her in a way but she needs to know how PROUD I am of who she has become aside from the mother daughter day to day bickering. She has done an amazing job pushing forward when she wasn’t sure she could.
June 28, 2017 marked yet another one of those days. This is one of many we have DREAMED of since the day she was born. She walked across that stage to claim her Grade 12 diploma marking the end of another chapter and the excitement of a new one beginning. New friends, new outlooks and so much GROWTH to come. Although her and I don’t always see eye to eye I admire who she is becoming with the same independence, kindness and beauty that she had when she came into this world.
My advice to her today is don’t grow up to fast, cherish every moment of the journey and make new friends along the way. You are a bright LIGHT in this world and we knew that the day we found out you existed. Go out into that world, show them all the love in your heart, be FEARLESS and get everything you’ve ever dreamed of no matter how big or small.
Believe in YOURSELF, believe in your VALUE and believe in your DREAMS…
“Oh the places you’ll go!” -Dr. Seuss
Thank you for INSPIRING me to be a better person.