Expedition 5: On the Spot

blog car accident empowerment fear female empowerment feminine guilt healing heart heart chakra judgement medit meditation Mindfulness ptsd suicide trauma universal energy warmth warrior yoga

Watching from across the crowed room in anticipation of that chair being EMPTY. Waiting for the perfect time to occupy my SPACE the universe has reserved weeks ahead of this evening. The universe makes that CHOICE for me knowing exactly the perfect alignment required to get me to STOP to hear the message. Knowing as soon as I occupied that position I would no longer sit in the SHADOWS forced to face the light that will be the legacy I leave behind.

I motion to her from a few feet away SILENTLY asking “Is this seat occupied”? Her reaction indicated that it was all mine. I make my way through a few SHE’s and SIT down on the white wooden chair in front of her. Her eyes greet me with a timid soulful SMILE, her Merlot stained lips frame her gentle smile, the beret perfectly tilted to the side compliments her cherry red blouse with her patterned scarf tied just below the closure of her vest. Her ROYAL typewriter raring to go in front of her fingers hot to touch those keys and let the WORDS fly. SHE has a gift and all my SENSES are attuned to this MOMENT. I am on the spot not sure how the process works following a brief in person introduction as her and I have already made acquaintance in the VIRTUAL world I begin to speak.

On the spot I go to what I know our COMMON ground SHE had been to my daughter’s school another UNIVERSAL sign week’s before our encounter yet after our VIRTUAL connection. This mysterious woman kept popping up in my life, my feed and tonight I would find out why. Yet another INTROVERT an EMPATHIC individual whose qualities reminded me of the numerous things I admired about those who choose SILENCE over CHAOS. Reminding me of that other side of me I began to EXPLORE after my awakening the one I had managed to shove back in the closet for the past few weeks. Keeping myself DISTRACTED by supporting a vision I was truly passionate about. But I always seem to be passionate about supporting others. Now is not the time for that it is my time.

This is why SHE was sent the POEM OF THE MOMENT was sent to remind me of that inner struggle I was courageously battling. As I spoke one of the main speakers of the evening took to the mic to explain her STORY of enlightenment. Heartfelt, honest and INSIGHTFUL it mirrored most of what I had just said moments ago. The POET and I look to each other and SMILE knowing we’ve both made the connection. Then the speaker begins to read a poem as SHE asks us to close our eyes. I feel a SMILE stretch across my face as I hear certain buzz words that RESONATE with my own story. With my eyes closed I can see the FLASHES of the photographer’s lenses snapping shots of the ACTION and REACTION within the room.

Once the speaker has completed her POEM I turn toward the POET who is about to write mine who now has tears welled up in her eyes. SHE tells me during the read SHE had to open her eyes to see my reaction to the POEM being read as though it was the perfect MOMENT to be put on the spot. Once the POEM was typed up on the ROYAL typewriter SHE read it to me in a soft gentle tone which touched my SOUL. As I sat watching her lips form the WORDS I knew she connected with my STORY. I thanked her for being COURAGEOUS enough to share her GIFT with me.

Through this on the spot experience with Kelsey in that MOMENT I was able to embrace URSULA (my anxiety), give her space within who I am, and further connect with the MANTRA I had prepared for all of SHE that evening, from the SHADOWS through masked identity.

I encourage you all to REPEAT after me…

“I will love myself unconditionally without fear, guilt or judgement”.


Older Post Newer Post


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published