There is no way for me to express the torment I feel inside.
I try to explain my anguish over and over only to be met with more questions.
These questions from complete strangers confuse me, trigger my deepest emotions, leave me vulnerable, uncomfortable and exposed.
This is nothing new since this has been my reality for almost two years.
I feel like few people understand. Others are busy hiding from their own struggles. While many simply don't care! Those who are aware of the social justice issues surrounding mental health treatment, fewer than I can count on one hand have stepped up to the plate.
To listen,
To evoke a laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood,
To raise me up and remind me of that part of me that is still strong.
This reminder from those loving individuals shows they are compassionate, kind and true friends. These friends guided me through some dark hours last night, Protected me from myself.
To those friends I am eternally grateful for the time you took out of your lives to be there for me and keep me safe.
This morning as I reflect upon the events of yesterday I say to each and everyone of you I love you! In a very big way you made this leg of my journey easier.
You've reminded me that thoughts are thoughts, moments of despair are impermanent and the power of human compassion is the kindest gift that we can give to another human.
Although it is hard to believe each of you reminded me how strong I am, how much I've already overcome and how little is left to battle.
xoxo